A moment with the fam.

The other day I shared a moment with a member of my tica family. This woman and I are on very superficial terms that include: "Buenos dias, hasta luego, como amenecio, and buenas noches." I actually don't know her name or her relation to the family. I think she's my "dad's" sister and her name is Virginia but I wouldn't swear on that. Anyway, sidenote - I love her style. She always wears cute headbands, great sweaters and mustard-colored shirts with grandma frills.

So one night I was sitting at the dinner table by myself and there was a huge platano (big banana) on the table. "Virginia" picked it up to move it and it fell out of her hands and banged the table with the most ferocious noise. For some reason it struck me as hilarious and decided to tell her it was like her weapon. Virginia, in turn, thought that was great and we both died laughing. Like a real laugh. I'm laughing just thinking about it. So she started pretending like she was shooting her brother with it and told the whole family that I called it a weapon.

So, I experienced my first inside joke with the "great aunt" and my first real joke in Spanish that even I appreciated.

Finally an aguacero.

I am currently enjoying the beautiful sound of an aguacero. It's chilly but cozy because of my cup of coffee and the fact that I feel like "all's well in the world" right now. I find myself wanting to use Spanish phrases with English speakers and English phrases with Spanish speakers but I think that's the nature of learning a language.

One month is over and I feel like it has been a hard one. It's hard to get to know people for a month knowing that they will leave to go back to the U.S. or Europe after their stint at language school. It's hard to know what to focus on and how to prioritize my time with people. My "family" from last year is so far away, but it is in my heart to see them at least once a week. I went to Los Anonos last weekend and was able to connect with some people from last year. That made my heart happy. As did how well Biscuit remembered me.

My daily routine:
-Wake up around 5:45 a.m....lay in bed until 6:15.
-Get ready.
-Read my Bible.
-Eat breakfast (usually it's a plate of pineapple, a banana and a small amount of watermelon because my tica family knows I like pineapple more than watermelon).
-Take the bus to school.
-Get on the computers and catch up on emails.
-Class from 9-12.
-Eat lunch, usually with Christina, Kirk or Sandro.
-Class from 1-2.
-Advanced (yes, advanced!) dance class at 3 p.m. SALSA!
-Hang around school and then take the bus home...
-Dinner around 6 p.m., using the Spanish phrases for "No, I'm too full - thank you, though! No, no more soup, thank you! Mmmm, I don't know why I didn't eat the rice. I am full."
-Go out to get a drink with classmates OR watch TV with house siblings, listen to my new Bright Eyes mix CD and read Atlas Shrugged.

New things in C.R.

Disclaimer for all blogs in Costa Rica: the keyboards are usually slightly crazy so I may or may not be able to find apostrophes, depending on which one Im using.

I arrived in San Jose last Thursday. Ive experienced a broad range of emotions, as usual, when it comes to unknowns and change. This time around is totally different. I may as well be in a new country, except for the nice comfort of knowing a few people here. But I am definitely very alone this time...there is no Rebecca Dunning to process with, no Biscuit to distract me and no Internet in the house, much less a Vonage phone to connect with people. There ARE, however, new people to meet, Spanish to speak and new buses to ride...multiple ways to be misunderstood and homemade Tico food to eat.

The things Ive learned in my first week:
1. Homemade que que seco is FAR better than getting it from a restaurant.
2. Cold showers are miserable.
3. Pejibayes (pictured above) are a super food, cheap and I really really like them (sin mayo).
4. Movies at the San Pedro mall are 2 for 1 on Wednesdays.
5. If a taxi driver doesnt know where you live when you give him your address, dont let him take you.

Snap shot.

Food: Coffee, oatmeal, banana, plum, spinach salad with black beans and corn, Lara bar, PB+Ezekiel bread, curry couscous+tomatoes+basil+fried green tomatoes, zucchini muffin, wine, almonds.

Miles:
2

Good times:
1) Drinking coffee this morning on the porch
2) Reading books to Emery and Riley
3) Eating dinner with Christa, Bekah and Donald
4) Talking to May on the phone

Tomorrow:
* Work out
* Continue going through my clothes
* Celebrate Kristen's birthday at Satisfaction
* Spend QT with bekahchristarileyemeryjackrowan
* Be quiet

Me unedited.

So tonight I'm totally frustrated because I can't freaking go to sleep. I tried winding down at 9:30 ish in the hopes that I would be able to enjoy 7.5 blissful hours of sleep from the hours of 11-6:30. But no, I am still awake and it's 12:15 a.m. I've checked facebook a trillion times, written some emails, read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and, let's be honest, have been thinking (aka worrying) about things in my life.

I may have also had an iced cappuccino at 3 p.m. Not a good idea but it was sooo delicious.

So, what am I worried about? Here's the short list:

1) Worried about finances. On the bright side, I have awesome parents who've let me live with them and eat their food. On the down side, I'm going to Costa Rica in less than 3 weeks and don't have as much money as I'd hoped. The actual trip should be ok...it's the coming back that's not looking so great. I guess I shouldn't have eaten so many dinners from the Whole Foods hot bar.

2) I am really fed up with the theory of He's Just Not That Into You. Granted, the only reason I'm fed up is because the guy I speak of is apparently just not that into me. (See Chapter 1: He's Just Not That Into You if he's not calling you). Another reason this is soooo irritating is because I feel like it's always the guy I like who's not into me. The lawn and garden care worker at ROSES can be into me and ask for my number and ask, "How come you're single?" And the guy who I wish would could call me DOESN'T. Thanks, life.

3) I don't know if I have a third thing to bitch about right now. That's my short list. It may not seem like much but because I can't sleep these things tend to get blown out of proportion. I guess I could list my fears of Costa Rica:

Fear 1: That it will be awkward since my "host family" is actually just one woman who lives alone. Imagine us eating every meal together having small talk and not listening to precious Tico child Spanish that fills in awkward silences.

Fear 2: That I will gain another freshman 15 from Costa Rica because my host mom is a pastry chef.

Fear 3: That I will spend thousands of colones on taxis because I don't have a car and am too afraid to ride the bus at night.

Fear 4: That I will have no social life and won't have any need of taxis because I'll be alone every night reading.

Fear 5: That I won't learn enough Spanish and my life savings will be spent for no reason.

Hmm....that about covers it. Now I will go lay back in my bed in the hopes that this was therapeutic and I will go to sleep in no less than 10 minutes. And that blog spot will stop deleting my paragraphs every time I try to publish this.

H1N1 has not won.

I wanted to write about my experience with swine flu, a.k.a. H1N1 virus earlier this week when I was in the throws of the sickness. Funny how incredibly uninspired one can be while under the influence of a 101 degree fever. So now I will take the time to reflect as this is the second day without a fever and I'm feeling the need to be productive again.



It all started on Sunday morning when I woke up. My forehead was seeping heat and I had this weird, tight cough that was half-hearted and unproductive. I layed around all day thinking it would go away. It didn't. So I texted a co-worker to see if he could fill in for me but he was helping his girlfriend move (precious). So...I went to work.


After work I realized how much energy had been sapped out of me. I checked my messages and listened to one from my mom. "Just checking to see how you feel! And by the way, I think you have swine flu because your symptoms sound like the ones on the CDC Web site!"


Great, thanks Mom. I went home and proceeded to tell her that I don't have swine flu and I don't appreciate her making me a hypochondriac like herself. The next morning I felt even worse and agreed to go to the "minute clinic" like a poor person because I don't have health insurance. The woman at CVS was chipper and kind, but after hearing my symptoms basically refused to diagnose me. She said to go to Urgent Care.


At Urgent Care I was humbled even more when signs everywhere asked people to wear a mask if they had flu symptoms. I wore a mask. And after I saw the nurse and the doctor (who was super nice), he said, "Do you want the bad news or the good news?"


"Ummm, it doesn't matter." I'm sick, Mr.! Don't play games with me.


"No, you have to choose! That's how the game is played."


"Mm, ok, the bad news." Never choose that option first.


"Ok, well the bad news is you have the swine flu!" He seems so nonchalant about it. I sit there in my hoodie, hunched over like an invalid.


"You're kidding."

"Nope. But it's ok. We're not going to test you or give you any antivirals. Those are only given to people 65 years old and up. You should be fine in about seven days. The good news is that you won't get it this fall when it mutates and gets worse!"


That was the beginning of my seven day quarantine. What followed was a fever haze, moving from the couch downstairs to my bed to the couch upstairs, a lot of movies and being served vegetables and beans from my mom.


And now I'm finally feeling better. I seriously can't wait to be out in the world again.

Nugget of wisdom.

I'm reading a book recommended to me by Becca D. It's called Reaching Out by Henri J.M. Nouwen and I am absolutely loving it. Granted, I like books that have "steps" to achieving something and this book isn't like that but I'm getting a lot of nuggets out of it. My favorite part so far is in the section Reaching Out to Our Innermost Self. Rainer Maria Rilke is answering someone's question of, "should I be a poet?" His response is:

"You are looking outward and that above all you should not do now. Nobody can counsel and help you, nobody. There is only one single way. Go into yourself. Search for the reason that bids you to write; find out whether it is spreading out its roots in the deepest places of your heart, acknowledge to yourself whether you would have to die if it were denied you to write. This above all-ask yourself in the stilled hour of your night: must I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer. And if this should be affirmative, if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple "I must," then build your life according to this necessity..."

How beautiful is that? I feel like I've always struggled with the question, "what should I do with my life?" I am totally NOT where I thought I'd be at 25.5 years but that's not a bad thing. I have never felt more in tune with myself and God as I have the past two years. I still have a long way to go but I know that having the answer within my reach is a reality. One thing I know is that Spanish is something I must do. I know it with a sense of strength and motivation and a little bit of fear mixed in. And I am so thankful that God is giving me the ability to make it happen, whatever "it' will look like in the future.