Stream of bears.

I had originally thought to make this blog a stream of consciousness type deal. I felt like it would help me process a little and it would also serve as an example of how I've been feeling lately. Stressed, overwhelmed, slightly hopeful, angry, hurt, expectant, forgiven, thankful...a whole host of emotions that have culminated into me being a little sensitive and feeling very lost most of the time. The photo describing Surge, Ashleigh and Justin's cat is indicative of...me. Be careful of what emotions may come out.

The things on my desk right now are my camera, my phone, my ipod, a post it note with a lawyer's number on it and the word "accident," a precious card from my friend Bethany, and a black mocha stout that I just finished along with a slice of veggie pizza from Whole Foods. The pizza guy was a little sloppy and gave me a slice too big for the box which made the pizza stick out and that irritated my perfectionist tendencies. It also made the top of the box come open in the car which was kind of annoying.



I think the highlight of the weekend, amidst the trying times of orchestrating life without a car, was when I left my brother's apartment this morning to walk to Starbucks and a random cabdriver said, "Excuse me lady, do you speak Spanish?" I think I probably scared him with how excitedly I ran to the car, "Si!" I practically shouted. Apparently his client didn't speak English and he needed to get to Cary. I think I helped them at least figure out what two roads were involved in the destination and what the name of the apartment complex was. I feel like that small incident was just a reminder of how much I love the Spanish language and how much I want to be using it right now. Watching telenovelas isn't cutting it. Maybe that's what life is. A main question with a vague answer and then a continuous journey of trying to reach the destination.

Details.

Details make things beautiful...an antique broach on a corduroy blazer, the paprika on my grandmother's mashed potato casserole, the swirls on my dad's homemade fudge, the cinnamon sticks in the apple cider. Every detail in life comes with extra effort and sometimes I think it's easy to let the details in our own life fall by the way side.

Details in language have been such a struggle over the past three months. Making sure to use the right preposition, the right gender, the most appropriate word, the most appropriate expression... Every morning I am thankful for the opportunity to learn and practice all day and am definitely sad that today was my last day of classes. Now the effort will be all on me. I have to seek out places to volunteer, take time to study, write to friends, apply to schools. Figure out the details of HOW to get to the next level.

Eres lo que tu mas profundo deseo es, como es tu deseo es tu voluntad, como es tu voluntad, son tus actos, como son tus actos, sera tu destino.

A moment with the fam.

The other day I shared a moment with a member of my tica family. This woman and I are on very superficial terms that include: "Buenos dias, hasta luego, como amenecio, and buenas noches." I actually don't know her name or her relation to the family. I think she's my "dad's" sister and her name is Virginia but I wouldn't swear on that. Anyway, sidenote - I love her style. She always wears cute headbands, great sweaters and mustard-colored shirts with grandma frills.

So one night I was sitting at the dinner table by myself and there was a huge platano (big banana) on the table. "Virginia" picked it up to move it and it fell out of her hands and banged the table with the most ferocious noise. For some reason it struck me as hilarious and decided to tell her it was like her weapon. Virginia, in turn, thought that was great and we both died laughing. Like a real laugh. I'm laughing just thinking about it. So she started pretending like she was shooting her brother with it and told the whole family that I called it a weapon.

So, I experienced my first inside joke with the "great aunt" and my first real joke in Spanish that even I appreciated.

Finally an aguacero.

I am currently enjoying the beautiful sound of an aguacero. It's chilly but cozy because of my cup of coffee and the fact that I feel like "all's well in the world" right now. I find myself wanting to use Spanish phrases with English speakers and English phrases with Spanish speakers but I think that's the nature of learning a language.

One month is over and I feel like it has been a hard one. It's hard to get to know people for a month knowing that they will leave to go back to the U.S. or Europe after their stint at language school. It's hard to know what to focus on and how to prioritize my time with people. My "family" from last year is so far away, but it is in my heart to see them at least once a week. I went to Los Anonos last weekend and was able to connect with some people from last year. That made my heart happy. As did how well Biscuit remembered me.

My daily routine:
-Wake up around 5:45 a.m....lay in bed until 6:15.
-Get ready.
-Read my Bible.
-Eat breakfast (usually it's a plate of pineapple, a banana and a small amount of watermelon because my tica family knows I like pineapple more than watermelon).
-Take the bus to school.
-Get on the computers and catch up on emails.
-Class from 9-12.
-Eat lunch, usually with Christina, Kirk or Sandro.
-Class from 1-2.
-Advanced (yes, advanced!) dance class at 3 p.m. SALSA!
-Hang around school and then take the bus home...
-Dinner around 6 p.m., using the Spanish phrases for "No, I'm too full - thank you, though! No, no more soup, thank you! Mmmm, I don't know why I didn't eat the rice. I am full."
-Go out to get a drink with classmates OR watch TV with house siblings, listen to my new Bright Eyes mix CD and read Atlas Shrugged.

New things in C.R.

Disclaimer for all blogs in Costa Rica: the keyboards are usually slightly crazy so I may or may not be able to find apostrophes, depending on which one Im using.

I arrived in San Jose last Thursday. Ive experienced a broad range of emotions, as usual, when it comes to unknowns and change. This time around is totally different. I may as well be in a new country, except for the nice comfort of knowing a few people here. But I am definitely very alone this time...there is no Rebecca Dunning to process with, no Biscuit to distract me and no Internet in the house, much less a Vonage phone to connect with people. There ARE, however, new people to meet, Spanish to speak and new buses to ride...multiple ways to be misunderstood and homemade Tico food to eat.

The things Ive learned in my first week:
1. Homemade que que seco is FAR better than getting it from a restaurant.
2. Cold showers are miserable.
3. Pejibayes (pictured above) are a super food, cheap and I really really like them (sin mayo).
4. Movies at the San Pedro mall are 2 for 1 on Wednesdays.
5. If a taxi driver doesnt know where you live when you give him your address, dont let him take you.

Snap shot.

Food: Coffee, oatmeal, banana, plum, spinach salad with black beans and corn, Lara bar, PB+Ezekiel bread, curry couscous+tomatoes+basil+fried green tomatoes, zucchini muffin, wine, almonds.

Miles:
2

Good times:
1) Drinking coffee this morning on the porch
2) Reading books to Emery and Riley
3) Eating dinner with Christa, Bekah and Donald
4) Talking to May on the phone

Tomorrow:
* Work out
* Continue going through my clothes
* Celebrate Kristen's birthday at Satisfaction
* Spend QT with bekahchristarileyemeryjackrowan
* Be quiet

Me unedited.

So tonight I'm totally frustrated because I can't freaking go to sleep. I tried winding down at 9:30 ish in the hopes that I would be able to enjoy 7.5 blissful hours of sleep from the hours of 11-6:30. But no, I am still awake and it's 12:15 a.m. I've checked facebook a trillion times, written some emails, read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and, let's be honest, have been thinking (aka worrying) about things in my life.

I may have also had an iced cappuccino at 3 p.m. Not a good idea but it was sooo delicious.

So, what am I worried about? Here's the short list:

1) Worried about finances. On the bright side, I have awesome parents who've let me live with them and eat their food. On the down side, I'm going to Costa Rica in less than 3 weeks and don't have as much money as I'd hoped. The actual trip should be ok...it's the coming back that's not looking so great. I guess I shouldn't have eaten so many dinners from the Whole Foods hot bar.

2) I am really fed up with the theory of He's Just Not That Into You. Granted, the only reason I'm fed up is because the guy I speak of is apparently just not that into me. (See Chapter 1: He's Just Not That Into You if he's not calling you). Another reason this is soooo irritating is because I feel like it's always the guy I like who's not into me. The lawn and garden care worker at ROSES can be into me and ask for my number and ask, "How come you're single?" And the guy who I wish would could call me DOESN'T. Thanks, life.

3) I don't know if I have a third thing to bitch about right now. That's my short list. It may not seem like much but because I can't sleep these things tend to get blown out of proportion. I guess I could list my fears of Costa Rica:

Fear 1: That it will be awkward since my "host family" is actually just one woman who lives alone. Imagine us eating every meal together having small talk and not listening to precious Tico child Spanish that fills in awkward silences.

Fear 2: That I will gain another freshman 15 from Costa Rica because my host mom is a pastry chef.

Fear 3: That I will spend thousands of colones on taxis because I don't have a car and am too afraid to ride the bus at night.

Fear 4: That I will have no social life and won't have any need of taxis because I'll be alone every night reading.

Fear 5: That I won't learn enough Spanish and my life savings will be spent for no reason.

Hmm....that about covers it. Now I will go lay back in my bed in the hopes that this was therapeutic and I will go to sleep in no less than 10 minutes. And that blog spot will stop deleting my paragraphs every time I try to publish this.

H1N1 has not won.

I wanted to write about my experience with swine flu, a.k.a. H1N1 virus earlier this week when I was in the throws of the sickness. Funny how incredibly uninspired one can be while under the influence of a 101 degree fever. So now I will take the time to reflect as this is the second day without a fever and I'm feeling the need to be productive again.



It all started on Sunday morning when I woke up. My forehead was seeping heat and I had this weird, tight cough that was half-hearted and unproductive. I layed around all day thinking it would go away. It didn't. So I texted a co-worker to see if he could fill in for me but he was helping his girlfriend move (precious). So...I went to work.


After work I realized how much energy had been sapped out of me. I checked my messages and listened to one from my mom. "Just checking to see how you feel! And by the way, I think you have swine flu because your symptoms sound like the ones on the CDC Web site!"


Great, thanks Mom. I went home and proceeded to tell her that I don't have swine flu and I don't appreciate her making me a hypochondriac like herself. The next morning I felt even worse and agreed to go to the "minute clinic" like a poor person because I don't have health insurance. The woman at CVS was chipper and kind, but after hearing my symptoms basically refused to diagnose me. She said to go to Urgent Care.


At Urgent Care I was humbled even more when signs everywhere asked people to wear a mask if they had flu symptoms. I wore a mask. And after I saw the nurse and the doctor (who was super nice), he said, "Do you want the bad news or the good news?"


"Ummm, it doesn't matter." I'm sick, Mr.! Don't play games with me.


"No, you have to choose! That's how the game is played."


"Mm, ok, the bad news." Never choose that option first.


"Ok, well the bad news is you have the swine flu!" He seems so nonchalant about it. I sit there in my hoodie, hunched over like an invalid.


"You're kidding."

"Nope. But it's ok. We're not going to test you or give you any antivirals. Those are only given to people 65 years old and up. You should be fine in about seven days. The good news is that you won't get it this fall when it mutates and gets worse!"


That was the beginning of my seven day quarantine. What followed was a fever haze, moving from the couch downstairs to my bed to the couch upstairs, a lot of movies and being served vegetables and beans from my mom.


And now I'm finally feeling better. I seriously can't wait to be out in the world again.

Nugget of wisdom.

I'm reading a book recommended to me by Becca D. It's called Reaching Out by Henri J.M. Nouwen and I am absolutely loving it. Granted, I like books that have "steps" to achieving something and this book isn't like that but I'm getting a lot of nuggets out of it. My favorite part so far is in the section Reaching Out to Our Innermost Self. Rainer Maria Rilke is answering someone's question of, "should I be a poet?" His response is:

"You are looking outward and that above all you should not do now. Nobody can counsel and help you, nobody. There is only one single way. Go into yourself. Search for the reason that bids you to write; find out whether it is spreading out its roots in the deepest places of your heart, acknowledge to yourself whether you would have to die if it were denied you to write. This above all-ask yourself in the stilled hour of your night: must I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer. And if this should be affirmative, if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple "I must," then build your life according to this necessity..."

How beautiful is that? I feel like I've always struggled with the question, "what should I do with my life?" I am totally NOT where I thought I'd be at 25.5 years but that's not a bad thing. I have never felt more in tune with myself and God as I have the past two years. I still have a long way to go but I know that having the answer within my reach is a reality. One thing I know is that Spanish is something I must do. I know it with a sense of strength and motivation and a little bit of fear mixed in. And I am so thankful that God is giving me the ability to make it happen, whatever "it' will look like in the future.

I'm sorry about your burned bagel.

I worked 7-12 at the coffee shop on Monday. That was my first early morning shift and it was pretty freakin crazy. Tons of people, so many bagels (toasted or not toasted, with butter? what kind of cream cheese?), tons of coffee to brew...it was all pretty awesome. Except for when I didn't know what I was doing. The manager realized I had not been trained on what to do with the pastry items. I mean, obviously it's common sense stuff, but there's always a "way." Like, do you cut the muffin vertically or horizontally? Why are there two toasters and which setting do you use? So I was learning as I went.


Well, this particular morning there was a woman who looked like she was on her way to the hospital. White scrubs (or pink), kind of tired looking, a kind yet apprehensive face. Anyway, she wanted a plain bagel with butter to go and of course I used the new toaster that didn't have a label for the "perfect toast."


So I popped it in and waited. And by wait, I mean I took a ton more orders and got distracted and kind of forgot about it until it dinged and I realized it kind of burned. And there was still a huge line of people waiting for their order to be taken. And that poor nurse was just sitting at a table waiting for her damn bagel and I didn't know if I should a) toast another one and make her late for work or b) just give her the slightly singed one. I mean, late to work or dark bagel? In that split second I decided to just give her the burned bagel and hope for the best. She didn't say anything about it so I hope she was still able to enjoy it. If she looks worried about her breakfast next time I see her I'll probably tell her that I adjusted the toaster setting to "perfect."

It's not school but there's a learning curve.

This is me in the laundry room at my parent's house. (Note: I'm living at my parent's house...) I like to think that the dress project is sort of like my life. My life as I know it slash sewing are new to me and I and hope the finished product is wearable. (The dress turned out great, thanks to my mom.)

Since I've been home I've experienced a broad spectrum of feelings. I figured I would be totally great. You know, glad to be back but also looking forward to returning to CR for language school. Why would I be emotional? But I have been...not in a dramatic sort of way (except for that one time, Dad - I'm sorry), but in a "I'm not comfortable" sort of way.

It's strange living with my parents. They're great but I'm 25. I'm used to having my own place and doing my own thing. Not answering to anyone. I am so thankful for the time and space that I have to save money but it's definitely not easy.

I have two jobs right now - being a nanny and working at a coffee shop. I think this in-between stage is what I was always afraid of when I imagined myself quitting my 8-5, benefits, feeling-important jobs. But it's not that bad. Granted, I wouldn't want to do it past the summer, but if the plan goes well, I won't have to. I'll be back in Costa Rica doing language school by September.

The uncomfortable things in this stage like not having my own place, not being active in a church and feeling grossed out from all of the dairy and meat I've allowed myself to consume are just stepping stones. When we're doing something new, it's not comfortable. We have to ask for help and be willing to learn. Humbly. And that is probably the hardest lesson I will have to learn this summer. It's ok to need help as long as we ask for it.

A little more comfort.

I don't know if you can see her very well because she's so tiny, but this is Doña Carmen. Her precious little frame is very fragile and she falls often, frequently voicing some of the aches and pains of old age (she's 97). On the right is her sister-in-law Doña Teresa, who takes care of her on a daily basis.

Doña Carmen is usually asleep in her single-size bed, with her radio turned up to a ridiculous volume because she's hard of hearing. When we visit her, there's always a surprise of some sort, whether it's singing us a song in English or entertaining us with her stories of when she was young . She is such a joy to visit.

On this particular day, we were delivering a gift from one of the team members to her - a new mattress and soft sheets. She was ecstatic about the color and the material and called herself "Reina Carmen" or "Queen Carmen." When we arrived at the house, it was a quite a time. We woke the poor soul up and got her out of bed; then we had to cut the mattress down to size for it to fit. When we changed the mattress out we found her machete which we made sure to put back under the mattress for protection. Just imagining Doña Carmen wielding a huge knife at an intruder is hilarious since she's about 4'6".

I hope that her new mattress will be a small source of comfort for her since that is where she spends her day. She is one of the people in Los Anonos who I will dearly miss.

Star pupil.

Meet Alixon...ten years old, only child, shares a house with her younger cousins, likes to knit. She is the epitome of a responsible girl who will achieve much in her life. I probably would have competed for her role of self-appointed class monitor at her age, but the comraderie of student/teacher works well.

When class starts she is super attentive and always carries Andres' (her cousin) notebook, pencil and paper in her bag, ready to distribute them when needed. If Andres and Gerald start arguing or whispering, she will typically move to sit between them, not forgetting to whisper a hushed "callase." (Translated as something between shut up and be quiet.)

Another way that she is a "star pupil," if you will, is that she helps the other students communicate with me. When they're talking to me rapidly in their prepubescent Spanish I look at Alixon and she translates in the Spanish that I understand. Slowly and in simple structures. It takes so much effort to understand how our idioms and slang affect communication with an outsider. I appreciate Alixon's attempts to make teaching easier and will definitely miss her as a student.

A young woman named Taylor will be coming in June to take over the role that Rebecca and I have and while this is a great blessing, there will be a lapse of a month. I trust that God will use our efforts for His good and that the relationship with Alixon and the other students will continue.

Promises.

This morning, like every morning for the past couple of weeks, my mind was going at 10 million miles an hour thinking about things I have no control over. The things I have been dwelling on lately pertain to the future. As some of you know, it was my desire to stay longer than May 1 and go to a language school for two or three months. This is no longer an option because my plane ticket couldn't be changed for under $578. Hah - definitely not going to pay that.

So my new thought is to come home for the summer and then go back to C.R. or another Central American country for three months. I find myself a little distracted, constantly looking online for summer jobs and researching language schools to go to. While it's good to plan, I want to be present. I want to have a strong finish here at Harvest Hands. It is my prayer that I will leave my questions and fears in God's hands and that I will still be expectant, waiting for Him to do miracles, open doors and use me in Los Anonos for another six weeks.

This morning I was encouraged by Psalm 48:14 - ¹⁴ For this God is our God for ever and ever;
he will be our guide even to the end.

Even though our communities and responsibilities might change, He doesn't. Pray that I will remember that He guides us, allowing me to focus on the present.

Freedom?

Calle La Libertad. Freedom Street. Although I just tried to Google the name of this street in Granada, Nicaragua, in order to provide the reader with some interesting facts on why this is called Freedom Street, I had no luck. So you will just have be stuck with my thoughts on it.

I have recently been bombarded with the reality of poverty. While this may seem strange since we work with the poor on a daily basis I think it's good that I haven't become desensitized to it. Or maybe I was becoming that way until recently.

Rebecca, our good friend May and I recently took a backpacking trip to Nicaragua. We appreciated the beautiful colors, the Spanish architecture and the European-influenced restaurants and cafes once we arrived. We also realize that we spent the majority of our time riding around on bikes in the tourist's square. In the midst of these streets there are tens if not hundreds of children begging, coming up to tables and asking for food or money. We spent our time feeling sorry for these children as well as feeling harrassed and bullied. Sometimes we gave them our left-overs and sometimes we told them to leave us alone. What to do in these situations? When is it legitimate and when are they begging for adults who use them? Are we supposed to determine when they deserve our left-overs? I felt a heaviness in Nicaragua that I don't feel all the time in Costa Rica. Calle La Libertad is not apty named.

The other ways I have been thinking about poverty is through the media...I love to read and I love good films. We watched Slumdog Millionaire (bought for $2 at the park) right after our trip. For those of you who aren't familiar with the plot, it's about children who are born into dire circumstances and how they survive and cope in their environment of violence, grief and betrayal.

And yet another reminder, I recently finished the book How to Be Good by Nick Hornby (thanks, brother). One of the themes of the book centers on each person's responsibility to the homeless and those with less. While the point of the book is not necessarily on how to change the world, it also made me think. And right now that's all I've got. Thoughts. I don't have any answers except that we ARE called to support those who have less. I think it means more than donating to Samaritan's Purse (though of course that's always needed) and it's more than giving a small child a to-go box (though I'm sure he appreciated it). Maybe those things are starting points. And then we can pray that God will lead us into what it means for each person to give to the poor and who to build relationships with. Maybe that's where freedom begins.

"It doesn't work but it's really pretty"

I'm listening to Beirut, A Call to Arms, as I reflect on the past two weeks. This album reminds me of Costa Rica because I listened to it on my flight to San Jose when I was trying to prepare myself for the unknown. How incredible it's been to see communities helped, people changed and myself stretched as we all go about life trying to figure out how to love people.

A team from Ohio was here for 10 days building a home for Joselin, a 17-year-old mom whose four month old is adorable and will now have a dry place to sleep. The guys helped complete one house and built another one from the ground up. Rebecca and I came to Jasmine on the last day to help paint and it was definitely a team effort as we all tried to paint around the banana trees and the barbed wire fence that was right up against the house.

The guys also had the project of cleaning/fixing up a stove for Sandra's family, who cooks outside on an open fire. It was so incredible to see this family get a new stove, and I was amazed by the guys who carried it down the ridiculously steep terrain to get it inside their house. I was standing on the sidelines, not helping at all with my exclamations of fear, as they efficiently carried it down the "path" of like 45 steps. The down side to this story is that Sandra doesn't get enough voltage for the stove to work (she said, "it doesn't work but it's really pretty"). The team hired an electrician to check it out and we're in the process of getting her a gas stove or helping her get a permit to hook up the right cables to the electric one.

Rodney and Cindy's son and his family are here visiting for the week and after that our good friend May will be coming (also known as Best Time Ever 2009). The next team doesn't get here until the middle of March so we have a break where we will organize our English classes, put our files in order for the person who takes our place and get some rest. I added photos to my photo album, so take a look if you want to see more photos from the past two teams.

Where shall we buy bread?

Another team from Mountain View, Va., left this morning at 5 a.m. First of all, it has been such a spiritual blessing to have two teams from Mountain View come to Costa Rica to serve - their church sends two or three teams a year to work with us and I have loved getting to know everyone.

Before the team got here I was a little apprehensive about how the week would go because of our lack of resources (or maybe just my lack of knowledge of what our resources were). The team did a VBS of sorts for the kids in the community and I was envisioning riots or chaos in the planche. As you can see from the photo, the kids are lined up anticipating a water balloon toss and there's no craziness. We had some volunteer translators and prepared team members who worked together to produce an organized and safe week for the children.

It's so refreshing to see how God uses what we have, even when it doesn't seem like enough. The other day I was reading in John. John 6:1-15 to be exact. Although I've read this passage a million times I was struck by what Jesus said. This particular passage is about feeding the five thousand with five loaves and two fish and Jesus' way of doing this miracle really impacted me. It says, "When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, 'Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?' He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do."

Now, the first thing I thought was why would Jesus test him in this way? Especially if he already knew what he was going to do...so Philip said there wasn't enough money (how many times have I said that?) and Peter pointed out there was only a boy's lunch there, so how on earth would that feed 5,000 people? And I realized how often I do that. How often I look at my resources in my own hands instead of in Christ's hands. I was blown away by the simple question that Jesus asked. I think He wanted to know if Peter and Philip would trust him to provide instead of pointing out the obvious (hello, of course there's not enough money or food to go around).

So my new prayer has been to give God my resources daily - my thoughts, my gifts and everything else. And to trust that He can do far more than what I can do.

All things new.

A team from Mountain View, Va., just left this past Saturday - probably tired and energized at the same time. The team of nine guys worked really well together and it was one of the most wonderful experiences to witness the transfer of keys from Jeff, the team leader, to Isabelle, the matriarch who will be one of seven people living in the freshly-painted yellow home the team built. A really interesting fact about the houses is that the designer of the houses is a man who went through CCA's rehab program and after giving his life to God, began helping the church with the design and is now the main person in charge of making sure the homes are at the right standard.

Our new partnership with CCA Church in Alajuelita is just beginning and I'm excited to see the other projects that our team will help with. CCA is a church that is living out their beliefs - from rehabilitation centers to a private school; to buying businesses so they can employ people from the community. They are a true example of the church taking care of those less fortunate in a real and practical way.

On the third day of building, Maximo, the director of the yellow house project, took us all to the men's rehab center. I was slightly hesitant since I was the only female (on the team and at the rehab), but it was one of the most touching experiences I've had yet. All of the men at the rehab center shared a brief story of how they had come to be there and their hopes of making it through the nine month program. Some had been there several times and quit half-way through and others were there for the first time. There were men who were 17 and some who were older than 60. It was such a testimony to the fact that it's never too late to change. God can and will give us the strength...He delights in making us new, transformed and wants to help us, no matter how many times we fail.

Now if you find yourself falling apart, well I am sure I could steer
The great salt lake

Follow me home
We want more
Follow me home
We all want more
If ever beat down
We know who we are / They know who we are
If ever beat down
We know who we are
They all know we want more
Band of Horses, Great Salt Lake

My car vs. Biscuit.

6 a.m. is coming soon. I'm flying back to San Jose in the morning, and am definitely excited about it. I've tried to study Spanish over the break, but fell extremely short of my own expectations. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone in Anonos, seeing my "family" and having Biscuit in my life again - love her.

Before we left to go to N.C. for the holidays, Rodney told Becca and I that we would be looking at the last stint of our journey here when we returned, and it was a surprise to realize that my time at Harvest Hands is half-way over. I'm not ready for it to be finished, so I'm so thankful to be returning. I wasn't sure if the break would cause me to miss home, family and friends more, but although it was a blessing to see people who are close to me, I'm ready to get back to Costa Rica.

When we get back, there is another team coming on Sunday - a team that will be building a house in Jasmin. I look forward to helping with this endeavor, getting back into tutoring and speaking Spanish once again.

Reflecting on my time home, I will say that I am going to miss:
* Driving
* Using my cell phone
* Seeing clean streets
* Appearing like an intelligent person when I speak to strangers
* Seeing non-action movies
* Throwing the toilet paper in the toilet

However, I will love the following when I'm in CR:
* NOT using my cell phone (love/hate relationship)
* Early mornings
* Biscuit
* Biscuit
* Biscuit
* Feeling stretched
* Wearing flip flops and tank tops
* Sunsets over Anonos

And with that, I leave you to eat my last meal with my family until I return...thank you to everyone for their support and prayers - I could not be where I am without you.